My lifestyle has crept into a spot that might fit someone making 220k. I planned to fix that situation with hefty commission checks that never came. I have a spreadsheet titled “monthly financials” that shows a negative number at the bottom of column B. To compound things, my personal finance habits are trash and I’m often upside down each month filling in the gaps with credit cards. I used to think, “If I can just make 100k, then I’ll be happy.” That hasn’t proved to be true. I don’t know if that sounds like a lot or if it sounds like pennies. The most money I’ve ever made in a year is 126,313 and 42 cents. Why am I showing up every day if I hate being here? Does everyone else hate this? Are they just tougher than I am? That could have been me too if I just put my head down and worked. A lot of them are now high powered sales leaders and executives that send their kids to great schools, live in nice houses, drive sexy cars, and take cool vacations. That first job at EMC in 2007 was a launching point for many friends and peers. I seem to be missing the character trait required to “stick it out” at work. Retrofit working for the Colwells, mowing lawns for my uncle in the summers, being a coach at Mike Boyle Strength and Conditioning these were good ones. There have been a few gigs that felt good. When I reflect on 16 years of being in the workforce, I realize that I’ve mostly felt lost.
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